Q&A with Reuters Hulk

Reuters Hulk is a Twitter persona that recently joined other satirical hulks there, including Grammar Hulk. In this interview, conducted by email, Reuters Hulk discusses Hulk’s origins, news judgment and role on Twitter.

Q. Why is Reuters Hulk on Twitter? What do you hope to achieve there?

A. REUTERS HULK LIVING METAPHOR FOR COMPETITIVE NATURE OF REAL-TIME NEWS REPORTING. REUTERS HULK JOINED TWITTER WHEN REUTERS WAS CRITICIZED FOR TWEETING CONTENT DIRECTLY FROM WIRE. CRITICS SAY COPY/PASTING FROM WIRE LAZY. REUTERS HULK SAY: FASTER NEWS, BETTER!

Q. Every superhero has an origin story. What’s yours?

A. HULK’S GREAT-GRANDFATHER, BARTHOLOMEW SEBASTIAN HULK SR., WAS YOUNG MAN ABOARD TITANIC TO AMERICA. AS GRANDFATHER FLOATED THROUGH FREEZING WATERS AFTER FATEFUL SINKING OF POORLY CONSTRUCTED SHIP, SOME LARGE SEA BEAST SWALLOWED HIM. DAYS LATER, GRAND-HULK AWOKE ON SHORES OF ELLIS ISLAND COVERED IN MYSTERIOUS BEAST’S GREEN SLIME, SAFE AND ALIVE.

ONCE IN AMERICA, GRAND-HULK DEVELOPED LIFE-LONG BITTERNESS TOWARDS SLOW AND INEFFICIENT TECHNOLOGY. GRAND-HULK DREAMED OF FUTURE WHERE TRAGEDY WAS PREVENTED THROUGH LIGHTNING-FAST COMMUNICATION. WHEN GRAND-HULK THOUGHT ABOUT SLOW TECHNOLOGY, HIS BODY WOULD EXPLODE IN SIZE; HIS ONLY DESIRE WAS TO SMASH SLOW TECHNOLOGY OR BAD INFORMATION.

GRAND-HULK’S FIRST JOB IN AMERICA WAS TYPESETTER FOR TOMPSON’S ROOT-ERS NEWS, A NATIONAL WEEKLY COVERING ROOT VEGETABLE FARMING. PAPER RAN INTO TROUBLE WITH FARMER MARKET MAFIAS WHO RESISTED REFORMS IN 1940s. GRAND-HULK ROSE RANKS, FROM REPORTER TO EXECUTIVE EDITOR, BY PROTECTING FREEDOM OF CHOICE (OF VEGETABLES). GRAND-HULK SOLD ROOT-ERS TO THOMPSON-REUTERS IN 1993 FOR A RECORD 34 BILLION SWEET POTATOES.

REUTERS HULK HAS PRECIOUS MEMORIES OF SITTING ON GRAND-HULK’S KNEE, ADMIRING TALES OF NEWSROOM. EVER SINCE HULK WAS TODDLER, HULK WANTED TO BE REPORTER AND SMASH NEWS, TOO. HONORING GRAND-HULK LEGACY, REUTERS HULK PROUD TO BE ONLY REUTERS REPORTER ON BEET BEAT TODAY.

Q. What types of news inspire Reuters Hulk to Tweet?

A. REUTERS HULK LIKE TO TWEET ABOUT NEWS THAT COULD BE BETTER. INFORMATION IS IMPORTANT, AND HULK THINK IT SHOULD BE TREATED THAT WAY. FROM TIME TO TIME, HULK LOVE TO MAKE FUN OF POORLY WRITTEN TITLES, TOO.

Q. Twitter is full of hulks. Do you think you can all get along?

A. HULKS HAVE WEEKLY SMASH PARTY! MORE SATIRE IN WORLD GOOD THING FOR EVERYONE.

Q. You were briefly banned from Twitter and then resurrected. What happened?

A. TWITTER CLAIMS REUTERS HULK WAS TOO FRIENDLY. REUTERS HULK FIND IRONIC THAT TALKING TOO RAPIDLY IS CRIME ON FASTEST COMMUNICATION METHOD AVAILABLE TODAY. REUTERS HULK CONCERNED TWITTER DOES NOT HAVE FASTER RESPONSE TIME IN CASE REAL EMERGENCIES OCCUR.

FINALLY, REUTERS HULK WOULD LIKE TO THANK EMPLOYER FOR SENSE OF HUMOR.

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